When I worked in a newsroom, we judged the value of your lunch by how much grease soaked through the bag (and, for the record, grease-soaked bags were high value). The gold standard was Val’s Rapid Serv (a retro burger joint in St. Cloud with highly addictive fries). But I’ve come a long way from the days where I slammed Diet Cokes until I got heart palpitations. At least I’d like to think so…
That said, I’m a bit embarrassed to be writing about Five Guys Burger and Fries. My dinner there last night was textbook junk food vegetarian: grilled cheese with tomatoes and mushrooms with a side of fries and a Sprite-infused lemonade. And it totally hit the spot (if not my nutritional requirements for the day).
Sometimes junk food cravings must be satisfied, and at most hamburger stands, I’m limited to french fries or a really lame sandwich (cheese, pickles, mustard, ketchup). But Five Guys offers grilled cheese (made on a bun with two slices of deliciously waxy American cheese) and access to all of its toppings, which include mayo, relish, onions, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, ketchup, mustard, jalapeno peppers, green peppers, A-1 sauce, bar-b-q Sauce and hot sauce.
I can make a pretty decent grilled cheese with those tools (even if the mushrooms appear to be canned). And the fries made with fresh potatoes are delicious. Plus, they offer free peanuts as an appetizer (or dessert, if you wish, no judgment here).
The fries are amazing. If you don’t order them, when they call out the order they yell “no fries” and all the cooks yell back “no fries?” incredulously. All the patrons turn to look at you with pity. Pretty special.